September 2, 2007

You Know

Posted in Who Knows Where This Goes? at 8:21 pm by lamatrix

Friday night:
I received a message back from my friend. I have a bad habit of preparing for the worse, but the response wasn’t bad at all.

It is good hearing from you. I understood what you were saying in your emails i just didn’t understand the context they were wrote in. I felt hurt by your words considering we were best friends. I am sorry for the things you were going through at the time but no matter what it was you could have talked to me and i would have been there for you. I do understand everybody needs a break from things sometimes but i wish we could have took a break from each other on different terms then ending being so mad. I could never figure out how some emails out of nowhere got turned into loosing a good friendship. But the past is the past and i am over it, we were to good of friends to let this take us down. I am glad you wrote me and i hope we can be friends again.

so anywho vacation and my birthday were fun and everybody is doing good same ol same ol.

I just replied back with this:

You know me… I’m just…. umm… complicated. lol I guess ultimately there was no real communication (just hear me out) and I know… look at me, the pot calling the kettle black. If you think about it, majority of what we do is based on our assumptions. That Saturday you assumed it wouldn’t matter and I assumed that you would have been there earlier. It wasn’t just that, but when we make plans and it gets changed because you wanted to sleep in and take that bath a tad bit too long , you thought it wouldn’t matter to me, but it really did. I really couldn’t have cared less if you decided to sleep in (hell, more sleep for me!), but it screwed up all the plans we’ve made. Especially when it takes 10 hours of prepping. If you would have told me the night before that you wanted some extra beauty sleep, I wouldn’t care and we could have arranged the day differently. I know it wasn’t just you, I’m sure I’ve done it but thanks to my lack of memory I can’t remember. lol I am working on it though – the whole being on time and stuff not the memory because that’s just a lost cause!

You know me well enough to know I have that tough 20 mile thick outer exterior, so a lot of times I don’t talk about it because I will usually brush it off and keep on trucking and it takes somebody to smack me to get it out of me. I don’t like dealing w/ some things and I would say this is one them. Think about it, when I piss you off what do you usually do? Being called a fuck face comes to mind, I remember one time you hung on me and then didn’t talk to me for a while… god knows what I did to piss you off. Same thing for me, I get pissed I usually will ignore you for awhile, you may not know or understand why. How is it w/ you and *******? When she pisses you off, what do you usually do? Do you tell her? Or do you end the conversation, call somebody and vent on them? I think you know how she is, you know how she’s going to react, and for the most part, you probably don’t want to deal with it, so you vent on a neutral party because you know what you’re going to say won’t get back to them because you know if you were to tell her it could jeopardize the friendship and you didn’t want to risk it. This is all my perception, maybe it’s different now. I knew how you were going to react but I figured last week that you deserved to know what was going through mind (scary thought!). I also know that you would understand because you are one of the few people that does get me. Lol Like ****** says, I’m psychotic. I will say I’ve gotten better at it. Since I haven’t been able to vent to you about ******* that it’s forced me to actually talk to him about things – a whole other email on that one. lol No, nothing has happened, damnit!

Like I said, I just needed a break to figure some things out. C’mon, did you really think this could ruin a friendship? We survived *******!! lol Speaking of which, he’s back. A few weeks ago I hung out w/ ****… he was pissed cause I wouldn’t stay the night and from what I heard he’s getting a divorced. Who even wants to hook up w/ him? Cheating drug addict that he is. His ego is enough for him to be in a relationship to himself. And ***** is just… the pain in my ass. He’s giving me 1500 on Thursday He’s been over here like 10 times already. Strangely, I would make plans and he would change it so he could stop by. Like he came one day to pick up certificates (he also made ******* cry that time too… I know! That bastard!!!), he told me not to worry about the rest of them I can bring them in on Monday and then the very next day he sent me an email to make more certificates that he’ll be over later in the evening. Another time, he was to give me money (yes, we’re back tossing money back and forth) on a Monday but then he told me he would stop by LATE Friday evening coming home from his trip to give me the money. I told him to wait but he insisted to stop by. He got my cats drunk, too. lol He found my crown royal, started drinking it and sharing with the cats the next thing I know, the cats are passed out. Oh yeah, I got two new kittens. Whisper and Rocky. I’m going to be the single woman with all the cats Lisa and her family moved just down the road from where you work at. This weekend I’m planning on going out to get a new flat screen TV and hook up my surround sound so I can show my upstairs neighbors how it’s really suppose to sound like. I’m also convinced that they move bodies up there.

Well, I’m going to take some Tylenol cold nighttime, I feel like crap. Also to watch some Scrubs… my newest obsession!!!

What do you think? The message doesn’t show up in my sent box, though… hm… I wonder if it went through correctly.

I haven’t really been feeling well today.  I’ve been sneezing all day , and for those that don’t know, it’s usually a bad sign when I sneeze. I went out this morning and did a little grocery shopping. I shouldn’t have went hungry because I ended up spending 60 bucks more than planned. I almost had a panic attack there too!! LOL I have been craving some home made chilli for a while now, so I decided to make some for my Sunday dinner.

Sunday dinner is a family tradition, brought to you by my wonder parents. During the week is usually when we don’t have time to make a nice cooked meal so we agree to either make something easy or go get some fast food. However, on Sunday, to start out each week we would make a special dinner. We go all out, too. Since then, each of the kids continue this as well. I’m sure we’re not the only family that does that, though.

I went there to get Chilli Magic and to only find out they discontinued it! I called my dad throwing a fit because I didn’t know how to make home made chilli w/out the chilli magic. Nothing really special about this chilli magic, it just has all the seasoning w/ the kidney beans with it. So, I got some chilli mixes, bought some kidney beans, 4 1/2 pounds of meat (wow!), and a pound of sausage. I got home and cooked the meat w/ the sausage meat and then let it cook in the crock pot. It turns out really good. After that, the whole family came over and helped carry the tred-mil and bike. I’m going to start an exercise routine and get some of this extra weight off of me.

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